Love you.

I really need to thank anyone that has read and is or will read this post. I'm going to have a library of helpful shit coming. I've been through a lot and am now willing to share in hopes to help others. Hey maybe I'll still get better through the process also. They will be real, sometimes heart pulling but all with the purpose of helping and making it a better place for all.

Bad Drivers.

      It's amazing that as the time goes by there are more and more bad drivers showing up on the road. It really makes me wonder how and where they all got their licences, or do they even have a licence, maybe they just bought it. Now when I say bad drivers I mean bad drivers. Not the ones that just take their eye off the road for a second and are weaving a little bit, I'm not even talking about the ones that do the ridiculous texting while driving drivers. Texting while driving is just stupid, what's so important that you have to risk the lives of everyone on the road including yourself? what Sue is going to wear tonight? or what Bob said to Tom? can it  not wait until you're off the road or at least can you pull off the road if you really have to know right now? Then the drunk drivers talk about pure idiot's, you have to be out of your mind to think it's okay to drink and then get into the car and drive even if you are only going down the road a little bit.
      See some things on the road can be avoided like drinking and driving or texting while driving, and even talking on the phone is a bad idea because regardless whether you are looking at the road and a hand is on the wheel your mind is not really there. But what's going on with the other bad drivers that are just bad drivers? Is the testing not informal enough? Do you just walk in pay money take a picture and off you go? It makes it hard for me to be as good of a driver as I can be because my mind has to be on the other idiots. I don't how many times while driving I see the ever famous no signal, or the looking right while turning left. It amazing that as bad as a thought as it is, there are not more accidents out there, I guess us good drivers are doing a good job at preventing them.
      Just last week my cousin and his wife was in an accident, luckily they were wearing their seat belts or there is a good chance they would've been thrown through the windshield, mind you the Jeep that he just got to his liking was smashed. The cause of the accident was a drunk driver of all things. The guy was on the other side of the road and at the last minute decided he needed something from the store on the other side of the road. When the driver came out it was noticeable that he had a few to many, trying to deny it at the same time. The police did their job, the man was arrested and my cousin and his wife were taken care of. Some on the other hand are not so lucky. That is the second car accident that was bad in the family, in the first accident the occupants weren't so lucky. The driver went through the side window who happened to be my dad and the passenger had the engine of the truck placed on her lap, my sister. I have never see so much blood in my life it was almost like it wasn't real. Both will never be the same nor will the family, a lot was taken away from all of us that day. The accident was ultimately proven to be an accident of no apparent cause. But ever since that horrible day things haven't been the same and the lives had been changed forever. They have both come a long way but a full recovery will never happen.
      So I guess I'd just like to ask all the drivers out there if you need more training and you know if you do or not please go get it. And to anyone that thinks about getting into the car after having a drink or more don't, the other driver you hurt or kill may be your family.

To be a Parent : Part 2.

      What do you do with kids today that have no care about the things you do for them or the things you buy them. Add the fact that the kids today have it a lot better than we did, the toys are better, cost more and at times are hard to get. So not only do we have to work in order to get the toys, clothes whatever it may be, we also have to physically work hard to get our hands on them. In some case's there have been an actually physical altercation to get certain toys (tickle me Elmo). See right now we're in a situation where the IPod that I bought for myself,  and when I purchased my IPhone I no longer needed it, so in a way it got handed down to my daughter, has been missing for just over a week. Now I know she's only six years old but to have no care over something like that I find a little bit crazy. She knows about money and knows how much it costs so why doesn't she care? It's almost like It's a joke at times, It drives me nuts. I can't really get too mad at the same time we're talking over $300 dollars here. A box of crayons maybe even a barbie I wouldn't mind so much you know, your loss. Mind you for the barbie she would probably care. I've been looking all over  scatching my head while she sits on the couch and at times looks like she finds it funny. She's been using the IPod everyday since I handed it down to her like it was hers, like she paid for it, and now for some reason it's no big deal. I guess I have to try a mind game or two with her maybe it'll work, just have to find the right one. The IPod shows up or? All around though I've been noticing the same lack of respect/care for the things us as parents get for our kids everywhere. Maybe we should just buy the cheap stuff, keep it the dollar store way, that way if it's lost I'll still not like the fact but really not care about it as much. I try to teach her about the money game, it's only going to get harder as the time goes on. I think since she was old enough to talk I tried to explain it all to her, not to much of course, it's hard for them to get it when they don't have to work and pay bills or even buy there own things. Anyway back to the IPod I would like to think that by now she would have the respect to take care of something like that, and I'm hoping that she knows where it is and this is a sick game to upset me in a kid way. Most of the time she does care, she may not take care of the things we buy her like throwing them ont the floor where ever, never putting things back where it goes but ultimately she cares. She gets upset when certain things are lost, I guess the money value for kids is not as important as the likeness. I've seen her really really like something even cry when she can't find it yet to me I don't understand, it's not expensive they are everywhere, but she actually cares about it. The frame of mind between kids and parents is so great that there are going to be many things we won't understand why they do what they do, just as I'm sure there are things we do they don't understand. Please any tricks you may know feel free to let me know. I need to find that IPod.

To be a parent.

       To be a parent today is probably the hardest job you'll ever have to do. As we all know the government and society hasn't been much help, unless you consider making it harder to raise your child help. I was never one for hitting a child, but I think the worse thing is letting the kids know it's not an option. With them knowing that no matter what they do the worse thing that can happen is they may be sent to their room, or not be allowed out or even god forbid get yelled at, who wouldn't push buttons. Now I've noticed just as I'm sure you have that the respect level kids/teens have today towards their parents as well as other adults has gone to a disgustingly low level. From what I remember growing up you respected your parents, you were still a kid and nobody is perfect, yet sometimes you need to test your limits, but you were to always be respectful to other adults outside of the home.
      When I was growing up there was always a fear factor that you didn't want to get into trouble or I guess I could say you didn't want to get caught. With the huge factor of the not knowing what's going to happen is taken out of the equation things are done without worry or thought. Again hitting a child is not the answer but I see nothing wrong with having a fear factor thrown in the mix, if you do that I'll ? Let them wonder. Marinate if you will. There is so much bad and who cares out there isn't life is hard enough? You're not even able to be home with them much because bills need to be paid, we all there's never enough money. That's why I've always made it a point to explain everything the best I could. No! because you could get hurt, or No! because it'll turn the wrong colour. If you leave too much to think about there's a good chance it'll go the wrong way. It's like if you say to someone even an adult "don't open the door whatever you do", there's a good chance the door is going to be opened. There is another factor that makes things hard and that's the fact that kids are getting smarter and smarter as time goes on. With all the technology out there it makes it easier to learn, heck my daughter was using the computer at three years old. Mainly playing games that teach, like math, spelling and reading. It just seems that it's easier to learn the wrong things, and it's not so easy to block anymore either. As I'm typing I thought it could actually be a money thing, blocking the computer makes other things harder to access, it's a pain in the butt. It's almost like they want you to buy your child their own computer, you can block sites they shouldn't be looking at right now, and at the same time no one is effected by the changes made to the settings. Back to the topic is seems their using the smarter and smarter for not so smarter decisions. Only using it for the actual games they play or if the end result is going to work in their favour. The only other thing that I've noticed is the way kids play and get along, they don't seem to play like we used to. If I'm remembering correctly all the kids on the block played together, sometimes depending on where you lived of course. The street hockey games had more than enough players, often to many. There is a lot more competition between them now as well, that I don't remember seeing as much, and also starts way too early.
       I just think that we need to as parents pay as much attention to what our kids are doing at all times as much as possible. They make things so easy now for our kids to get into, and learn. Give them the explanation they need even if it's not a harmful or dangerous thing. Of course all we can do is teach to the best of our abilities, and know that we did our best, our kids will most likely be okay. Everyone knows that the government and some of the laws don't make it any easier, and with both parents working there is not much time to be with our kids as it is. So if we are there for our kids with the time we have, pay attention, and teach them with an explanation our kids should be alright. To be continued..........

To Be A Leaf Fan.

What does it take to be a die hard Leaf fan, a true blue Leaf fan. Not the Leaf fan that loves the leafs when they win and hates them when they lose. The Leaf fan that no matter how much it hurts, you'll never miss a game by choice, in the car the radio is on playing the game.
For 36 years now okay for the sake of it I'll say 30 years, because I'm not sure if the first 6 years count. As long as I can remember I was a leaf fan. On the pond or playing road hockey as often as possible (with a hand injury the only thing to stop me), there could be a blizzard outside and we would still be there playing the game we loved. I recall while everyone was picking the top scorer that year, or the top draft pick, I was always a Leaf. Even playing the good ole game of mini sticks I was a Leaf. And no I didn't lose all the time. I had my moments in the sun. I would say to my friends sometimes " Why don't you pick a leaf", with them hollering back, "Pick a Leaf". Maybe it's me, maybe I enjoy getting my heart broken game after game year after year. Wondering why did you make that pass to their player, or what were you thinking coming out of the net. Then I would make it a point to watch other games, with other teams and guess what? They made the same mistakes. Their top player passed the puck right to the other teams top scorer. Or the goalie came out to play the puck only to put it right on the opposing teams stick. So now I think is the Leafs that are really that bad or is it that the lights are so bight on them that every little blunder looks that much worse. I guess it doesn't help to have the people that are going to write about you the next day, enjoy so much in bashing the team. They can win but yet you can make sure that the bad will only be reported or take the highlight.
Not only am I a huge hockey fan, not only is it a part of my heritage but I like to believe that the Leafs play for us. They are our team, they are and always be my team. They don't want to lose anymore than we want them to. After all no on wants to let anyone down. The main goal for all players is to win the Stanley Cup. To play with the emence presure that a team like the Leafs have to play with would be like the average person having to write an exam (that also has to be 100%) which will determine getting a million or not with everyone watching. I think to be a Leaf fan you need to have a Heart of steel, be ready to take the bad with the good. Be ready to let that goal go that crushed the whole game lead with a second to go. Or maybe you just need to be Canadian.

The Cards You're Delt.

Everyone has heard the saying "you need to play the cards you've been dealt". In a card game that's all fine and true but in life it's a whole different ballgame. I've had some pretty bad hands playing Euchre or even Poker and actually still did not to bad. What if you get dealt a really bad hand and on top of that you don't have full control, I'm talking now in the game of life. Isn't life hard enough to only have someone you don't really know throw a nice big ole monkey wrench into it. The rules on top of that are stacked in their favor. You should be able to play the card you want but then you realize wait, if I do, it could actually work against me. For some reason now the same game you've been playing for years seems to have a different set of rules that you have to follow regardless of whether it's fair or not. The players, now are people you've never met but yet they know some how what's best for you, and you better make sure on your next turn you play the right card. Which don't forget better make it easier for them to play their next. Then add in the factor that you can't hold the cards as well as you used to, but god forbid you say anything, complain or even just want to play a fair game. You do your best to get better at the game and now suddenly the rules are changed again. From the start of this new game you've always done your best to play with the rules they never even bothered to let you in on. Isn't it fun to play a game you've never played before, only getting half the rules and you have to play for you and them. I've been playing this game now for over three years, I always followed the rules. Never did I question why they went out of turn and I always busted my butt to play as nice and as good as I could. I do know that I will use this game to only make myself stronger, after all I learned things I otherwise would not have, if I didn't have to play this unbelievably one sided game. I will always have the physical scars and emotional/mental scars of being cheated and the game in general, and now I need to keep in mind that I know more now and in the end I was the one who won.

Rules Of The World.

       Have you ever wondered, "what are the rules of the world?" are there any? who follows them? and who made them?. I'm not talking about the everyday rules we see on the road, in school or at work. I'm talking the rules of the world we were supposed to be following set from the start of mankind. For me I've come to believe that through live you live and walk a path you think is the right one. Along this path some of your choices may not be the right one but as long as you learn from the ones that were not so good you learned from that choice. See I hear from lots of people as probably you do that in life you make mistakes, and mistakes are made for us to learn from. I do my best now as a parent to make sure I teach my daughter as much as can before she has to learn the hard way. At the same time I also try not to punish her to much from a mistake most people have made as long as she has learned. After all if you do nothing you learn nothing and by doing nothing no mistakes will be made and you won't learn.
       Should you smile to everyone you pass on the street, should you wave or should you verbally say hi. If you don't know the person is it okay to not acknowledge them at all. Who should hold the door for who, I feel whoever is first should hold the door for the next. No matter who is coming towards that door, no matter how bad your day has gone, whether you had a fight with your spouse, kids or friend, you should always hold the door for the  next person. When it comes to saying hi maybe you don't have to verbally say it as some of us have a little touch of shyness. To smile I feel is okay and a good thing it tends to lead into a thousand smiles at the end maybe more depending how many people pass how many people. I've always lived by the motto ( smile it just feels good ) have you noticed that when you smile it does feel good and it also feels good when you smile at someone and they smile back. What about the polite factor? is it so, that you should be polite to everyone, even if that person is not so polite to you. I try regardless of who and what is done or said on the not so polite front to be the better person. I make it a point to be polite to all whether I know them or not. Even though being a door mat was not my first choice I've been there many times, but it's okay I guess someone needs to be the wall to bounce things off of. Maybe by the end I can help in one way or another, maybe that's what the person needs is just someone to listen and understand, after all Life is not easy. I know after my injury I needed someone to talk to, and I was very upset, mad and angry about the whole situation. Thankfully I had a couple of people I knew I could talk to and that understood. There was a lot of others that couldn't, wouldn't or didn't want to understand. I also learned that before my injury and all the things that I went through I had no idea what people were going through how they felt or the right thing to say. Sometimes when I thought I was helping I was actually making things worse. But I always tried to understand and do what I could to help and make things better. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, you should always try to be a good person, maybe have in the back of your mind that that person may be going through some rough times. If a smile can make their day is it too much for you to give that smile. Is that door really to heavy to hold for an extra second. Is really that bad and uncool to say thank you or your welcome. I've been through a lot in my time I've made mistakes like everyone else but I also changed ways and learned right from them. From the time I turned 22ish I made a point to be as helpful, kind, honest and giving as possible regardless of the person or reason, that's what I'd like for me. Now I understand that my hard times are no one else's fault and I need to work hard to make things better. Sure it would be nice for everyone to fix my mistakes and correct my problems but I know that's not a rule of the world.

Tattoo artists close to home.

         It all started two maybe three years ago when the needles were hitting the skin. A new tattooist was in town, already a good artist, but that was with paper and skin is a whole new canvas. The hardest part would be using that Gun to draw a picture on an arm or leg, maybe back or chest, hey could even be on the shoulder, the foot, ankle, elbow as well as the lip, hand ,forearm, maybe even the head, stomach, thighs, calves, the breast, and butt. As luck would have it I knew the guy, we have known each other for 32 years. Maybe I'll have to get one or two. Turned out I got eleven from this same artist. By the time I got my first tattoo I believe he had already done three or so. By the time I got my second from him he had done about thirty. He got very good very fast which was good for him on top of the fact self teaching is not that easy. There are lots of  tricks to learn many different types and sizes of needles you need to learned which is best where. Even different types of ink. You really have to know your ink. Another huge factor in Tattooing is to have a good reliable power supply with steady hands. A good thing with a new artist whether you know them or not is that they have a totally different style. Ultimately they can do a lot of things the same and just as well, but there is a different touch to it. When you look at in a monetary way everyone is getting a tattoo nowadays so if you are good and enjoy the art of tattooing there can be a lot of money in it. Next thing I know I receive a message letting me know "I do tattoos now", wow, now I have two new tattoo artists close to home. Everyone needs practice at whatever the may be doing and I don't mind using my skin as practice canvas. Mind you I haven't got a tattoo from this second artist but just like the first he did everything possible to learn the tricks of the trade, and get the best equipment in order do a good job. Again just like the first artist he's done quite a few tattoos now and I must say he has done very  good for himself. When the time is right and I can fit it in with a great idea I'll get one done from him. Then I'll have work done by five different artists, I know a lot of people like to go to new same artist but to me if they are good why not have different work done by different    artists. Now what is this! another new tattoo artist in the family, what to do, who do you go with? They have all been good artistically as it was. I guess I'll have to get work done by six different artists. This one though went a different route and actually took a collage course to learn all the tricks. He also did the practicing at home with the pig skin. I've seen his work and it's incredible. Growing up he loved to draw or by the finished product it seemed as though, I could only wish to draw that well. Wanting to get into the art form he took all the steps to learn what he could that would only make him better as good as he good get in the time frame. As we all know you always get better with time, so if you have the tricks of the trade from the start you'll go from good to awesome in no time. When the time is right and I have the new tattoo that I would like picked out I will be getting one done from him for sure. If you're a fan of tattoos what's better than having three artists in one family.     

            It all started march 27th 2007, it was a regular day just like any other. Going to work was something I looked forward to, I loved my job and through experience I haven't heard that much from anyone. I always had a job in a fast paced work environment and enjoyed working with my hands. There wasn't many things that could slow me down. Until one Friday getting everything ready for Saturday, that all changed in a huge and major way. I was a custom kitchen maker, my main job was to shape the designs of what people wanted their kitchen to look like. Cabinet doors were my specialty.
           The Friday started like every other day, working hard to get the cabinets done on time as they were needed. A good day like always so I figured I would get ahead of the game and be ready for Saturday. As the day came to an end about twenty minutes to four during my setup I see the wood go flying through the air. Now from my knowledge if the wood goes flying it can only mean a couple of things. One there was a knot in the wood, the wood had a split in the middle, or in my case you got hurt really bad. It took a second and thank god I didn't feel anything at first but yes my hand was ripped apart. I was able to remain calm so I could get first aid and rush to the hospital. I always went into work with the plan of ten fingers in and ten fingers out, I guess there was a different plan for me. With the help of great doctors they did a good job in fixing my hand it doesn't look no where near as bad. I just wish they could've fixed the movement and the pain. After the third surgery and many months of rehab it is what it is, I was left with not being able to use my hand very much and a twenty four hour pain schedule. This then turned into a two year battle with depression which I can gladly say I have the upper hand. I still have some anxiety and stressful thoughts about it all, after all no more hockey,boxing or working at the job that I loved my career. All in all I believe things happen for a reason sometimes I still wonder why, but it gave me time with my daughter.
           Now I'm almost finished school, another road that was scary at first after all I'm an adult. With the anxiety as well it was not an easy thing to get into. I tried to look at it in the way of making my life better, gain more knowledge after all I can't work with my hands anymore so it's the best way to go. I was able to get my diploma that I have been putting off for a long time now, which also gives me the leverage for my daughter to finish school and hopefully go to collage. I also took a computer course, after all they are taking over, and received my certificate. I must say there is no better feeling than going into something and coming out on top. I've been able to make a website with the help of one of the best teachers I've ever had. All the teachers in the road of gaining knowledge have been great, I feel if all teachers were like the ones I've had here it would be a better world. I've met a lot of good people through this rough time and they've all been through the same thing, in a different way. I wouldn't be blogging right now if it wasn't for one of these great people. She's made a big difference in my thinking. There is also a teacher that unfortunately I wasn't able to be one of his students, but he has really changed my mind and gave me reason to never stop being me. It's been overall a learning experience pardon the pun, I gave it my all ,and I do have more now then I had. I met and made good friends that I will do my best to keep in touch and I hope they all succeed because I know I will no matter what.